I Don't Care
Genesis 3: 1‑13
Mark 15: 1‑15; 42‑47
The opposite of yes is no.; The opposite of short is tall. The opposite of fast is slow. The opposite of true is false. The opposite of reward is punishment. The opposite of love is apathy. Did that last sentence surprise you? It did me. I used to think that love and hate were opposites. The more I have reflected on my relationships with others and the more work I have done with people in their personal relationships, the more evident it has become that apathy or indifference is the opposite of love. When a person has arrived at the emotional state that a specific relationship does not matter, then that relationship is at the end of the line.
Exploration of biblical material confirms that apathy is the opposite of love. The root meaning of apathy is laziness or sloth. Early in religious thinking the concept of original sin developed. What this idea perpetuated was that some way sin is transmitted biologically. Sin is not a biological function or a biological issue. Sin is a moral issue and cannot be transmitted biologically through parents to children.
The concept of original sin also has been tied to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Many hold to the conviction that if Adam and Eve had not sinned then no one would have sinned and that the earth would be in a perfect state of bliss in relationship with God. This view continues to propagate one of the mistakes that Adam and Eve made which was to place the blame for their sins on another. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. The serpent looked around and could find no one to blame so he slithered off in the grass.
When the issue of original sin arises, what we need to ask is, "What is my original sin?" I suspect that your original sin and my original sin are the same sin that was original for Adam and Eve, laziness. Thus we need to focus some time at this point on original laziness.
The original laziness of Adam and Eve was that neither of them bothered to discuss with God why it was that there was a limitation on what fruit they could eat. According to the story, first Eve, and then Adam, thought about eating the forbidden fruit and each in conversation with herself/himself decided to disregard human limits. Now, there are times when it is helpful for a person to talk to himself, but if that is the only person he consults for advice about a decision, he really will receive an extremely limited view of the options available as well as a terribly limited concept of what the ramifications are of the decision. Since God was the one who had imposed the limitations, it would have been appropriate for Adam and Eve at least to have consulted God as to why this limitation had been imposed. But Adam and Eve gave in to laziness at this point. It really was easier to make a decision based on the limited information they had than to complicate the matter by getting another opinion.
Like Adam and Eve, laziness is our original sin. When we consult only ourselves for guidance about living we receive a very one‑sided view that only turns us more into ourselves. This approach leads to despair which is what Kierkegaard identified as the sickness that leads to death. A graphic portrayal of this sickness is Jesus' story of the younger son who went off on his own, alone. He was not really himself when he chose to include only himself in his circle of decisions. At first, it appeared that he had life just the way he wanted it. After awhile the spiritual malaise of despair began to set in, and he descended from low self‑esteem to no self‑esteem, deciding he would be better off as a slave at home than a worker in a pig pen.
The younger son sought many ways to soothe his pain without thought, but as the story went, he came to himself which was to say that he was not himself apart from God. Adam and Eve were not themselves apart from God following after their original laziness and neither are you nor I.
Our original laziness invites us to give up our calling to be children of God. Sloth or despair is an attempt to be less than human. Sloth causes us to run from the Garden, to find ways to escape human responsibilities. When we give in to despair we are deciding to live as an animal and cast aside our calling to be sons and daughters made in the image of God.
Once we give in to our original laziness we begin our slide down the spiral of despair. We seek short‑cuts to the truth by reducing the truth to slogans. There is a kind of anti‑intellectualism that is pervasive in our culture. Fed by a media mentality, this approach suggests that solutions to difficulties ought to be simple, brief, easy to accomplish, and stated in a sound bite. We don't want to be bothered with issues that take longer than a news conference or the six o'clock news to solve. If more is going to be involved than that, then we will leave those solutions to someone else.
Sloth or laziness is what Chaucer's Parson called Negligence: "it cares not, when it must do a thing, whether it be done well or badly. Laziness is the loss of or the giving up of selfhood. Dorothy Sayers describes it this way:
In the world it calls itself Tolerance; but in hell it is called Despair.
It is the accomplice of the other sins
and their worst punishment. It is the sin which believes
in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing,
interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, loves nothing,
and only remains alive because there is nothing it would
die for.
Original laziness is deadening. It deadens inquisitiveness. It deadens courage. It caves in self‑esteem. When self‑esteem is gone, then people give themselves to unworthy actions that produce despondency.
Pontius Pilate’s actions reveal his despondency. For Pilate, his desire for approval led him to respond with ambivalence and his ambivalence resulted in apathy. Once again the temptation to play the blame game is present. Pilate has never been seen in a very good light by many, if any, within the Church. We can learn about Pilate as well as learn from him about ourselves. Apparently as governor of Judea, Pilate must have done a fairly good job, at least as far as Rome was concerned, because he was in the position from 26 to 36 C. E. Ten years in the same political office is a long time, especially in an appointed position in a dictatorial system.
One of the issues that surfaces about Pilate during the hearing he had for Jesus, similar to a grand jury investigation in our society, was Pilate’s desire for approval. That is not an indictment because everybody has approval needs. Problems arise for anybody when the need for approval and the desire to be liked cause one to sacrifice principles of integrity, courage, and worth as a person. This seems to be what happened to Pilate. Keep in mind that Pilate was charged with the responsibility of keeping order in Judea. He found himself being pressured from both sides. Some religious leaders wanted Jesus executed so badly that they changed the charge from blasphemy, with which they could have dealt, to treason by pointing out that Jesus had claimed to be a king. This put the trial in the government's court. Pilate questioned Jesus and concluded that he was innocent. However, he feared that if he released Jesus he would be open to the charge in Rome of being lenient with one accused of being a rebel against the state. Pilate was in a difficult position. He felt the pressure to attempt to please everyone, at least these two sides. He thought that if he gained the approval of both sides he would maintain order.
Pilate's effort to gain approval revealed his ambivalence. Ambivalence is to experience contrasting feelings about a person or a situation simultaneously. Ambivalence is an on the one hand, on the other hand kind of juggling and struggle with feelings about a situation. To read the four Gospel accounts of Jesus' hearing before Pilate is to draw a picture of Pilate as one who was uncertain. He went in to talk to Jesus, he came out to talk to the religious leaders, he went back in to talk to Jesus, he came back out, he sat down, he stood up, he said the man is innocent, he asked them what they wanted him to do, he gave them a choice he was sure they could not refuse, release of an innocent man rather than a known criminal; they took the latter; Pilate washed his hands. There may be no clearer portrait of an ambivalent person than the Gospel portrait of Pontius Pilate standing over a wash basin.
Pilate's desire for approval began to dictate his actions. When that began to happen, ambivalence began to rule his decision‑making capabilities. The result of that was a deadening of his inquisitive powers. Pilate began to lose his courage to confront the religious leaders with what they were doing. He did not challenge them when they were changing the charges from blasphemy to treason. He did not confront them with their desires and intentions to get the state to do their dirty work for them. Crucifixion was done to the worst of criminals as a means of humiliation as well as a form of punishment. The religious leaders wanted this one to be humiliated who had humiliated them when he confronted them with their hypocrisy.
The main attack Jesus made on the evils of his time
was not against stealing, sexual sins, or even violence,
but against hypocrisy, that is, identification with the
persona so we are no longer genuine people. This attack
was mainly directed against the Pharisees, and this is why
he made so many enemies and was crucified.
As a result of his ambivalence, Pilate did nothing which is what apathy, sloth, or laziness is, a willingness to do nothing. Pilate's sloth or laziness was his refusal to exercise power. The tragedy is that power, like nature, abhors a vacuum and if good people do not exercise power judiciously, those who will do evil are waiting in line to exercise power ruthlessly. Pilate's refusal to exercise power resulted in the religious leaders exercising their power and influencing the fickle crowd to go along with their suggestions. In his effort to keep everybody happy Pilate found himself in a state of ambivalence. In that state he began to give himself over to unworthy actions and compromised his integrity. When that happened, it gave birth to despair and despondency, and we have a description of an uncertain man going and coming, standing up and sitting down. Where does such an approach lead? I think T. S.
Eliot describes it well in these lines:
We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
On rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
Pilate illustrates that apathy, laziness, or sloth is a sin that crucifies. His "I don't care‑it doesn't matter attitude" contributed to the literal crucifixion of Jesus, and it crucified Pilate as well. Pilate is a pitiful soul running back and forth between Jesus and the religious leaders and finally turning to the crowd and saying, "What should I do? You tell me. It doesn't matter to me what I do. You just tell me what to do and I'll do it"? And so he did. His apathy rendered him a hollow man and he went out with a whimper.
Now what about you and me? When do we commit the sin of original laziness? When and where are we apathetic? Is it in our family relationships or our responsibilities at church or in our jobs? When, where, and how do you and I say, "I don't care. It does not matter"? This attitude is the opposite of love. As destructive as hatred can be, it is not as destructive as apathy. Even with hatred there is the chance to deal with the intense anger and help the person focus the anger in a constructive way. Hatred is a negative emotion but it is an emotion. Laziness, apathy is nothing, and it crucifies everyone in the relationship.
What is startling and awesome in all of this is that even when we are in our deepest despair and despondency saying that we do not care, that God does not matter, and that someone who once mattered no longer matters, God is continually reaching out to us and offering us the gift of love. God never gives in to laziness. Original laziness has been our approach to many situations in our lives. We have chosen to discuss solutions only with ourselves, discovered our nakedness, and fled the Garden. But even then it is God who has become the seamstress to help us deal with our nakedness. When we have done our worst to love, which is not to care and to conclude that it does not matter, even then God is still reaching out to us, God is still open to us, God seeks to redeem us from our laziness. Our apathy blocks the flow of God's grace to us, not only to us but also blocks its flow through us to others. Apathy causes us to doubt God's grace, to refuse God's grace, and even to be bored in the presence of God's grace. But we don't have to stay there. We can offer our apathy, our laziness, our sloth to God. God is willing to take it and rid us of it. God’s grace offers us forgiveness and redemption. Dare we care enough to receive it?
Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales in the Great Books of the Western World, Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc., 1952, p. 528
Dorothy L. Sayers, "The Other Six Deadly Sins" in Creed and Chaos, New York: Harcourt, Brace, and Co., 1949, p. 81.
John A. Sanford,Ministry Burnout, New York: Paulist Press, 1982, p.76.
T. S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men," The Complete Poems and Plays, New York: Harcourt, Brace, and Co., 1952, pp.56‑9.