Discerning Gifts
Proverbs 22:1-6
When I conduct a baptism I often refer to one of the verses from Proverbs 22, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  The Today’s English Version says, “Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their lives.”  One of the earliest interpretations or applications that I heard of that verse was that parents should be strict in their discipline of their children and even though the children might go through some times of rebellion in their lives they eventually would come back to the straight and narrow rigid rule keeping that their parents had laid down for them. 

I think that is a complete misunderstanding and misapplication of this Proverb.  Today, Confirmation Sunday is an appropriate time to reexamine and reapply this Proverb. I have suggested at baptisms when I have quoted this Proverb that the meaning of this verse about train up a child or teach children is to pay attention to the child, observe the child, listen to the child in order to discover what the child’s natural inclinations are.  Often around six months of age is when many parents want their children baptized.  When I meet with parents to plan the baptism of their child, I ask them about the child’s personality, what seem to be the child’s traits, seemingly natural inclinations or ability.  I have yet to have any parent say, “I don’t know,” “nothing,” “our child has no natural inclinations.”  I have had them say things like, “He is very easy going.”  “She’s really laid back.”  “He is really observant.” “She takes in her environment.”  “He is curious.”  “She is such a happy baby, just seems to enjoy everything.”  What I try to help these parents recognize is that they have identified the natural gifts, abilities, and inclinations of their children and I encourage them to find ways to enhance these gifts and inclinations because these are their children’s strengths.  If they will create an environment where these gifts are celebrated, supported, and encouraged to develop and expand, these gifts will become strengths that will help their children negotiate and deal with life at every stage of life.  In other words, when they are older they will not depart from these strengths.
           
Today our 8th grade Confirmands are affirming their baptisms and making their own commitments to journey as children of God and disciples of Christ.

Since the day of their baptisms – regardless of how old they were or where they were when they were baptized -- whether they were carried forward as infants wearing the family christening gowns or whether they stood at the font on their own two feet, or whether they were immersed in a baptistery as I was - this is the moment they've been waiting for: confirmation. 37 young people are being confirmed today and becoming the newest members of Glenview Community Church.
           
Okay, so their parents made them go to confirmation class. Good for them. That only means they already know about self-denial. They wanted to stay home and sleep in on Sunday mornings, but had to get up and go to confirmation class instead.
           
The Confirmands may have missed a party Friday evening because they had to be on retreat with their class as part of preparation for today.   They can wear their "My-parents-made-me-do-it" badge with honor.

But along the way, something's happened. They’ve learned some things.  They’ve learned some things about other faiths; about the United Church of Christ; about the Bible; about serving others; and about worship.  They've learned that the things that are really important, whether prom, hanging out with friends, parties, or even confirmation, usually have a price tag.   
While others are following trends, the Confirmands have been exploring what it means to be a follower of Jesus. . While others have been working on a social life, the Confirmands have also been working on a spiritual life.
           
Well, maybe they have and maybe they haven’t.  Maybe they’re simply glad it's over. I certainly sense their parents are.  Confirming their baptism and the promises made at their baptisms does not rank up there alongside getting a driver's license or clinching a date for homecoming or graduating from high school.
           
Let's be real. Confirmation is serious business. It is about training up children to be adults.  It is about guiding children to be the best human beings they can be.  It is about leading Confirmands to explore what and how they can learn from Jesus about loving their neighbors as much as they love themselves.           

Confirmation is about helping young people discover there are some costs involved in being confirmed and identifying oneself as a Christian, a follower of Jesus. Denying yourselves? Losing your lives? Bearing crosses?  These are some heavy words by Jesus about what it means to be a disciple, to confirm that you are a follower of Jesus.
           
Confirmation marks the Confirmands as adults in the church. The perks include voting in meetings and serving as leaders, but most of all they now belong to a community of people who have chosen to be in ministry together.  They’ve been participating in the events and activities of this congregation for a long time, but now their involvement has more personal intention and purpose to it. 
           
Unfortunately, some of us have forgotten this. We think confirmation is just another rite of passage, a photo op, something to make the grandparents happy, a great reason for a party, another thing to check off our list of been there, done that and they as members have some ownership in what is done.

To Jesus, being grown up apparently means denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following him. A cross, as I shared on Palm Sunday, is an inconvenience, a difficulty, a struggle, a cause that a person voluntarily chooses to take up.  It can just as easily be left alone but intentionally choosing to take it up makes all the difference.  Being grown up means spending your life in service to others. It means being the person God created you to be - fun, goofy, creative, stylish, interesting, loving, awesome. In Christ we become that special, one-of-a-kind person God fashioned out of cells and chromosomes.
Does this mean that Confirmands can never spring for a manicure or diamond stud cuff-links? No. It means that they and we are measured by similarity to the life of Jesus that is reflected in our lives. Does this mean you can't follow the latest trends? No. It means that first and foremost, we seek to follow Christ rather than trends. The two are not necessarily incompatible. But as difficult as it is for us to see at times, there is really not anything gained if we gain control of the whole world, at least our corner of the world, but forfeit our lives to do it. 

There are many things in life we think are important.  We start our lists of what is important-health, family, friends, being liked by people who are cool, surviving high school, getting into the college of choice, but soon the list begins to seem shallow and meaningless. 

Unfortunately, we adults have often failed to provide cross-bearing, self-denying models for our children. These who are being confirmed today have been looking at us and learning from us.  What they have seen in us, they are attempting to emulate in their lives.  I wonder what they have seen and what they are taking into their lives.  Children without good role models are at a serious disadvantage.
Some parents presented their children for baptism when they were too young to remember. They promised to raise them faithfully in the hope that one day they would confirm the promises they made for them with their own voices and of their own wills. Others brought their children to church without pressing them to make a commitment until they were ready.

What happens after confirmation makes all the difference. There is the temptation to see confirmation as the end of the road rather than the beginning of service.  There is the tendency to see confirmation as completion rather than commencement.  There’s the temptation for Confirmands and their parents to drop out of church before the year of their confirmation ends.  Whether adults or adolescents, we must resist the temptation simply to follow the crowd and opt instead to follow the one who shows us how to live and serve. There's probably no such thing as a free lunch, and Jesus says there's no such thing as a free life. Life costs, especially when it is a life lived with integrity.

Let's review those costs. The decision to follow Jesus: expensive. Could run into years of self-denial and even death.  Abundant life blessed with the Creator who treasures us, the God who shows us how to love and live through the life of Jesus: priceless.  So the cost to follow Jesus: expensive.  The blessings received from God: priceless. I highly recommend it.