Psalm 95
John 1:43-51

Have you ever been lonely?  Loneliness usually is a mixture of longing and pain. One cause of loneliness is   one cause of rejection is loneliness.
           
John’s Gospel (1:43-51) records the first rejection Jesus experienced.    In this passage is recorded the call of Philip and Nathanael to be disciples.  Only in John do we learn about Nathanael.  He is not mentioned in the other Gospels although tradition holds that he and Bartholomew are the same person.  In any event Philip announced to Nathanael, "We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph" (v. 45).  
           
Can you imagine the rise and fall of excitement that Nathanael experienced?  Here comes Philip with such an important announcement, "We have found him."  The reference is to the Messiah.  Every Jew everywhere was expecting the Messiah to come.    
           
The surge of excitement in Nathanael must have been nearly uncontrollable when Philip said, "We have found him!"  Just as quickly as the excitement had risen in Nathanael it escaped him.  It was like puncturing a balloon with a pin when Philip said, “Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."  The disappointment was so great that Nathanael could not contain himself.  Without even thinking Nathanael blurted out his reaction, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?"  What a prejudiced response!  In essence Nathanael said "When the Messiah comes, he may come from any town or village except Nazareth."  If Philip had said, "Jesus of Cana," Nathanael might have considered that as a possibility since Cana was his hometown.  The rivalry between villages was intense.  As with most rivalries, one of the ways of feeling superior is to put down the rival.  Perhaps Nathanael was voicing the contempt of Cana for Nazareth.  It is more likely, however, that Nathanael reacted as a serious student of the Scriptures who knew that no son of Joseph ever had been anticipated in the promises of Scripture. 
           
Philip did not argue with Nathanael.  That is a guiding principle for us.  Very little is accomplished through argument other than the entrenchment of the arguers in their own opinions.  Philip simply invited Nathanael to come and see for himself. 
           
How would you react if you had been in Jesus' situation?   What if someone said upon being introduced to you, "I have never believed that anything good could come out of your hometown and meeting you has confirmed what I have always believed?"   In essence this is what Nathanael said about Jesus.  Contrast Jesus’ response to Nathanael with Nathanael's comment about Jesus.   Jesus took one look at Nathanael and said, "Here is a real Israelite; there is nothing false in him" (TEV).  Was Jesus using flattery?  Was he being facetious?  Was Jesus being honest in his opinion and view of Nathanael?  From all that is known about Jesus and his relationships with people, I think that Jesus was being honest about how he perceived Nathanael. 
           
Jesus functioned on the basis that honesty and openness contributed more to healthy dialogue and growth than flattery, sarcasm, or psychological games.  Jesus confronted Nathanael with his deepest sense of identity, with the style of life that he sought most passionately to emulate.  How did Jesus know so much about Nathanael?  We need not grant Jesus the gift of clairvoyance at this point.  Jesus said that he had seen Nathanael under his fig tree.  Whether this was meant to be literal or symbolic it depicted the spiritually ideal conditions under which to study the law of God (Micah 4:4; Zechariah 3:10).   Jesus took Scriptures seriously and he attached the utmost significance to a sincere study of Scripture by those who earnestly sought the messianic reign of peace (John 5:39, 46).  Jesus' honest, insightful, open acceptance of Nathanael cut through Nathanael's rejection of Jesus.  Nathanael's rejection quickly gave way to acceptance and faith as he exclaimed, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God!  You are the king of Israel! (v. 49).
           
Acceptance of others is a redemptive response to rejection.   People who have been rejected find it very difficult to believe that anyone will accept them and believe in them.  Often their hostility at having been rejected is sprayed at anyone who hints at accepting them.  This defense mechanism is a means of testing the authenticity of the relationship.
           
Peggy and I were in a marriage growth group many years ago.  During several sessions of sharing and relating one woman seemed angry at everybody in the group.  I didn’t understand because none of us had done anything for her.  One night as I listened  to her I had the image of a woman who was rolling out the barrels  of hostility to see if anyone would jump over them and reach her  or would all of us allow the barrels to bowl us over and keep us  at a distance from her.  I took a chance and told her of my image.  With tears in her eyes she said I was right and that the source of much of her hostility was the rejection she felt from her father who had abandoned her and her mother when she was a child.  Accepting her turned out to be a redemptive response to the rejection that this woman had experienced.   
           
Once Jesus acknowledged and accepted the rejection that was being directed toward him, he was then able to accept the persons doing the rejecting.  In Nathanael's case, Jesus' acceptance of him turned him around.  He began living life in a different direction when he was treated differently by Jesus.  There are numerous situations where this is true today.  Teachers often find this approach helpful in relating to and dealing with a difficult student who seems to be bent on rejecting others before they reject him.  Parents have found this approach to be essential in facing the parenting challenge of relating to their children.  Counselors also have found this approach helpful.
           
The old adage that sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me is a lie.  Words are vehicles that carry messages and feelings between people.  To be rejected in a relationship causes a person to be insecure about relating to another person in a similar situation.   The insecurity often causes a tentative reaction in the other person which the insecure person reads as rejection.  Fear of being rejected causes one often to act as if he has been rejected which results in someone rejecting him.  The vicious cycle continues.
           
For one who has been rejected to accept those who have done the rejecting is neither an easy accomplishment nor does it always net the positive results that Jesus had with Nathanael.  As Jesus cut through rejection his action pointed toward two practical instructions.  After acknowledging and accepting the rejection and the rejecters, it is necessary to get on with the task to which one is committed.  The work of discipleship must never depend on the consensus of everyone.   Everybody needs and wants praise and recognition; however, the ongoing work of discipleship must never become dependent on the daily shot in the arm in the form of praise.  If the praise becomes the motive, then there will be more and more grandstanding and playing to the gallery and less and less ministry being done.    
           
We can see clearly in John’s story about Nathanael the obstacle that his prejudice and closed mindedness erected.  What is appalling is that we do not see the correlation to our own attitudes and approaches to life.   How often have we suggested that the approach of reconciliation is fine in the church or has to do with salvation but has nothing to do with the way things are in the real world?  Have we not said with our living, if not with our voices, that peace, justice, brotherhood, and sisterhood are fine in the church, but they just don’t work in government, business, or international relations? 
           
An indictment leveled at the church by many who are outside the church is that the church is no different than any other place or organization.  My response is yes and no.  Yes the church is like every other organization.  It is made up of people who have a variety of interests, ideas, and attitudes, and who make a variety of mistakes.  The result is there often is conflict in the church.  There will be conflict in the church.  But the church is not like every other organization because it has an effective model for resolving conflict.  The model is Jesus who sought to reconcile the differences between people and between people and God rather than to fuel the fires of hatred and animosity.  A leader in another congregation I served said, “I like the church.  It’s the people I have trouble with.”  We in the church often have failed to follow the instruction of Jesus within the community of faith to resolve our conflicts.  Thus the accusations of those outside the church have been true that the church is no different from any other organization.  
           
The establishment of relationships was an additional method Jesus used as a redemptive response to rejection.  Jesus clearly demonstrated in his life that human beings are relational by nature and by need.  Mark recorded that one of the reasons Jesus chose disciples was because of his need for human companionship (Mark 3:14).  The significance of companionship is inferred in the event that Mark recorded immediately following the rejection in Nazareth.  Jesus took the opportunity to begin sending out his disciples by twos.  The disciples were to travel lightly, stop briefly, seek a hearing in every appropriate way, but they were not to force themselves or their message onto anyone.  They were to hurry to find people who would be responsive to the message they brought. 
           
Many years ago an experiment was done with Harlow monkeys, named for the man who designed the experiment.  The purpose of the experiment was to determine if nurture were as necessary as nutriment for the development of infant monkeys.   Two groups of monkeys were used.  The monkeys in each group were given the same amount and quality of food.  The only variable was how the monkeys were fed.  One group was fed by their mothers while the other group was fed mechanically through imitation mother monkeys made of wire and fur.  The monkeys fed by their natural mothers grew normally while those which did not have the nurture of their mothers developed much more slowly, were thin, and their growth was stunted.  These monkeys needed nurture as well as nutriment for healthy development. 
    
Human beings need the positive reinforcement that comes through the care of at least one other person in order to develop self‑worth and value.  The tendency is that if a person does not receive positive reinforcement then he interprets what happens to him as rejection, negative reinforcement.  Ernest Campbell told a story that illustrates the point.  A nine‑year‑old girl said in an essay, "I don't know exactly what a family is, but I know one thing‑‑your friends can go off and say they don't want to be your friends any more, but people just can't go off and say they don't want to be your family any more."3 Unfortunately, some have had people to say them they don’t want to be their family any more.  We are called by God to be a faith community that is open and receptive to all who have been received by God.
           
Love and acceptance develop in a person because the person has been loved and accepted.  A person cannot be rejected continually from infancy without feeling that she is worthless and valueless as a human being.  In the story of Gary Gilmore, convicted murderer who was later executed, one of the startling factors about his life was the complete absence of anyone who treated him as a person of worth.  Even his uncle who gave him a job and seemed to try to help him get established had nothing kind to say to him and often used derogatory language and called him stupid and dumb whenever Gary did anything he did not like. Love or unlove is a circular process that expands and enlarges in the direction that it begins.  It is nearly impossible for a person to believe and experience the love of God if he has not experienced the love of at least one human being.  If he has not been loved by somebody, he will have difficulty knowing what love is and trusting what it means to be loved.
           
Being a human being makes one vulnerable to being rejected.   Discovering and experiencing God's love and acceptance is the antidote for rejection.  John stated it well, "We love, because God first loved us" (1 John 4:19).  We can see in the life and ministry of Jesus how intensely he loved and how strongly he was rejected.  There is a correlation between him being loved, being able to love, and him being able to respond redemptively to rejection.  Even at the end of his life when the rejection of him was the most intense, Jesus seemed the most intent on loving.  He refused to reject those who rejected him.  He had no need for such a response because all along he had been making redemptive responses to rejection by acknowledging and accepting his rejecters.  Love is a powerful force of will and intention that gives a person the courage to translate will into action.  Love enables a person to move out into the unknown and into the future against resistance that is generated by fear.  Rejection is the response of a person who is frightened and threatened.  May the life and ministry of Jesus serve as impetus to guide us in responding lovingly toward those who reject us.  Love casts out fear and replaces rejection with acceptance.  No one gains from rejection.  Everyone gains from being loved and accepted.  Jesus responded redemptively to rejection.  May we learn from him and develop redemptive responses to rejection.

Notes
     1Ernest Campbell.  Locked in a Room With Open Doors.  Waco:  Word Books, Inc., 1974, p. 13.
     2Frederick Buechner.  Wishful Thinking:  A Theological ABC. San Francisco:  Harper and Row, 1975, p. 20.
     3Campbell, op. cit., p. 18.